HOW TO MAKE A BARISTA FALL IN LOVE WITh YOU

For the committed and the delusional. Proceed with caution.

“Hi. Welcome in. What can I get for you?”

“Can I get an iced americano, please?”

“Any room for cream and sugar?”

“Nope!”

“Can I get a name for that?”

“Anna”

“Okay, that will be $3.29. We’ll call your name when it’s ready.”

“Thank you!”

Repeat this as often as you can whether they are working or not. Show up looking your best. Show up looking your worst. Bring your friends. Stay a while. Leave immediately. Never let them know your next move. You want to become an illusive regular.

Give it a couple of months, then make a deal with your higher power. “If I run into them tonight at [INSET BAR HERE], it’s meant to be.” Keep making this promise until it actually happens.

Then hope one of you has the balls to ask, “You look familiar?”